Set amidst an untamed jungle, by the side of Sanjay Gandhi Chidiaghar, the Patna Golf has by far the
warmest set of members I have known.It is an Everybody knows Everybody type of a club. For a Calcuttan, used to the City's famous clubs, this is conceding quite a bit. There is no buzz of rivalry, and the Club Management is not in the hands of a committee which has been opposed by over 300 members in an election conducted by Observers appointed by the High Court.
When it organises its annual invitational tournament, the Committee of the Patna Golf Club ensures that one member of the Four Balls is of the local club who assumes the role of an indulgent host- guiding you with the local rules, fixing your drinks and breakfast during which he force-forcefeeds you on poori and subzi and jalebis and glasses and fresh mausambi juice- and even deem shiddho. At the end of the game, he collects and deposits your card, opens the beer cans . It is a sheer delight as yours ears warm up to the familiar Patna lingo which has a mixture of unalloyed affectionate abuses and the typical cocktail of gos and thhos and was, e.g., " Vivekwa, kitna go par aur kitna thho birdie maarey, saaley?". And when you have drunk to your chaalis Inch ka tond, the Local member offers you the plate for a lovely lunch of cold cuts. Never mind if they have misspelt to announce the dish as Roast of Mutton leg with Rosemerry Sauce- damn the Grammarnazis and enjoy the food, it is better than what you would get in most places in the Calcutta Clubs. There is very little feeling of guilt even if you have been forced to take extra helpings of Ginger Pudding with whipped cream . The final stamp of personalized attention is a cap with your name in the takeaway bag!!
The course is not a patch on RCGC or even Tolly. It looks to have been designed by a mathematics paper setter brimming with bile. Almost every Tee Box has a clump of You Can't Get Past Beyond Me trees while most of the greens have bunkers surrounding them. Present in huge numbers, the crows have extra large beaks, and unlike their Bengal cousins, who can only peck at a golf ball, the ones here actually pick up and fly away with a ball unattended for more than 30 seconds- fish for brain but litti for brawn it seems. The fore caddy's job is more to shoo away these crows.
But despite these , the round is enjoyable. Most of the holes have been imaginatively named- as they are in most golf courses. So Tee No 13 is Rhino Charge and even as you stand to take your swing, you are pleasantly distracted by the sight of two sambars, their antlers locked in a quite battle in an enclosure beyond then fence. And when you have swung wildly for an OB, and are cursing your caddy for giving the wrong club, your eyes and ears light up as a toy train, filled up with a gaggle of cackling schoolchildren, noisily lumbers past. And yes, the first sightings of palash!
